People Are Mad At Patti For Outting Luther and Marsha Warfield Comes To Her Defense

Comedian Marsha Warfield weighed in on Patti LaBelle’s recent disclosure that Luther Vandross was gay and the black community’s tried and true embrace of “don’t ask, don’t tell.”

The actress best known for her stint as the stink-faced, no nonsense bailiff on ’80s sitcom Night Court, posted a note on Facebook Saturday saying that when she came out to her own mother, her mom said she knew, but then requested that she not come out publicly until she was in the ground.

The entire Facebook post reads:

    When I told my mother I was gay, she said she knew, and had known all my life.

    Then, she asked me not to come out publicly while she was alive.

    I agreed, even though the request and her admission were hurtful in ways I couldn’t put my finger on then, and probably haven’t completely worked through now.

    But, everybody who knew me, knew I was gay.

    The people I didn’t tell knew anyway, and tacitly agreed to pretend that the unacknowledged had been acknowledged and accepted.

    Like I’m sure is true for millions of other glass door closeted people.

    When I went to bars, which was frequently, I never tried to hide who I was.

    So, it was an open secret.

    Had I never come out publicly, many, many people would have known.

    It would not then have ever really been a betrayal of trust to “spill the beans.”

    Because it wasn’t a secret, it was an uncomfortably kept promise to my mother.

    But, it was also not the only reason I didn’t come out swinging when she passed.

    The fear of the judgment of strangers and their holier-than-thou “shoulds” was at least as big of a burden to bear.

    But the “shoulds” that “should” matter don’t.

    Nobody should have to hide their sexuality.

    No parent should ask their child to.

    There should be no shame in being gay.

    And, I ain’t mad at Patti LaBelle.

    I’m mad at the people who are.

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