FLAT-OUT FLUMMOXED

A man who tried to rob a Virginia Wal-Mart ended up feeling a little run-down -- after he got a little run-down by his own getaway vehicle. The man, a New Yorker who was in the area working on a construction job, attempted to boost an armful of goods, including blue jeans and ear buds, but store personnel stopped him in the act. He fled the scene and hopped into his truck, but before he'd gone too far, the muffler came loose, and he stepped out to fix it -- only to have the truck roll forward and strike him. Wal-Mart has opted not to press charges, but the universe has other ideas: the man is in "extremely serious" condition at a nearby hospital.