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The Oscars Are Over...Thank You Jesus!!

The Academy Awards ceremony was held yesterday, so another year of Oscars is in the books.

We learned what movies and actors showbiz insiders believe were the best of the past year. That was nice. But, there's still plenty to learn from almost every movie you watch.

Here are some valuable lessons you can learn from watching movies:

  • If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade -- at any time of the year.
  • All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
  • The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
  • A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
  • Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.
  • One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.
  • Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings -- especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.
  • Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them.
  • It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

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