Focused On Urban Issues, Nightlife, & Kenny Smoov
We can think of so many reasons why you should never, ever abuse your wife while she's driving (or engaging in any other activity, really), but here's a very good, common-sense one: You might cause a fatal accident. Fatal to you!
This is exactly what happened to 27-year-old Sandro Michel, who could give us some insights on this subject except that he's dead. Michel would still be with us had he not made the incredibly poor decision to beat on his wife, 33-year-old Catherine Copeland, while she was driving him and their three-year-old daughter around Pembroke Park, Florida. Distracted by her stupid husband, Copeland lost control of the car, the car ended up crashing into a lake, Michel drowned, and the karma police arrived on the scene to haul him to the Afterlife County Jail.
Unsurprisingly, this incident was not the first time Michel beat his wife: the Broward Palm Beach New Times informs us that he had three prior domestic-violence arrests and was on probation based on one of those arrests at the time of his demise. According to WSVN-TV, the couple's fight began at a convenience store, where Copeland screamed for someone to call the cops. Someone did, and as the police car approached Copeland's car, Michel grabbed the steering wheel and steered it into the lake "because he did not want to go back to jail." He will not go back to (earthly) jail.
In related: The toddler was saved from drowning by her "buoyant diaper," which "propelled her out of the submerged car" and enabled her to float to safety. Protip: Wear a Depends the next time you go for a drive.