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Real Talk EMAIL: Is She Being PETTY?
I'm really upset with my fiance and I'm hoping you can give me some advice.
I've been with my fiance for a year and a half and we love each other a lot.He's really supportive of my career, loves my family and is an all-around great guy -- except for one thing: He has tons of pictures of his ex-girlfriend that he refuses to part with.
I know he loves me and I know they're just pictures, but some of the pictures are incredibly intimate (they're kissing and such).
I've talked to him about this, but he says he shouldn't have to get rid of them because they are important memories to him and I have no right to ask him to trash his memories.
But I feel like if we're going to get married, then that needs to be a fresh start and he shouldn't be clinging to photos of old girlfriends.
So what should I do? Let him keep his pictures? Make an ultimatum about the wedding? Make some sort of a compromise?
Help!
Bella
Comment
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Comment by kensey l. nevils on February 25, 2011 at 3:12pm
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RESPECT!!!!!!!!!!!! RESPECT!!!!!!! RESPECT!!!!! I LOVE YOU SWEETIE BUT I DO NOT WANT SEE THESE PHOTOS EVER AGAIN, THANX YOU !!!!!!!
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Comment by MRS.MC on February 21, 2011 at 7:41pm
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I strongly agree with Ms.Mahogany, When two people marry they become as one a unit if you will. Love? Is a very strong word not to be used loosely. Everyone get you beleive the guy ( Loves) you." But," Nowhere in that long story did we once come a cross a word so very important. ( RESPECT).
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Unfortunately he has unresolved feelings toward his ex. He won't let go of the past. The question you have to ask yourself, "can you remain in a relationship with him and ''his ex''. If you have questions before the marriage that's not what God planned in a committed marriage with two people. The Lord said in His word that he would give us a way of escape, take yours and wait for God to bless you with a "whole" man and not one who's still clinging to the man HE was with his ex.
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Comment by Vega Tigarrius on February 21, 2011 at 11:47am
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Compromise...out of sight out of mind. As long as he makes sure you don't see them again (i.e. in a storage unit or in a box in the basement) then you should not worry about it. Because if you guys break up tomorrow, for example, it's very likely that he will keep all the photos that you and he took together. He wouldn't through them away because for a year and a half you were the most important thing in his life. My grandparents had pictures of people they dated before they were married and things like that as memories or keepsakes. When you get to be 70, 80, 90 you look back on those things as part of your life. Not that you long for the person or the relationship, but it's simply a snapshot of what was taking place in a particular season of life. Women often say that a good man is hard to find...if you have found one then you may want to not sweat the pictures. Because if he's as great as you say/think he is then there are PLENTY of women that are going to be more than willing to overlook those pictures in order to be with him. Good luck with that.
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