Listen Up: 5 things Women Don't Tell Men About Sex

This is definetly a grown folk conversation. This is not for those people  who are easily offended by the subject of sex.

Sex has around been forever. Heck that's how most of us got here. But there are certain things that women hold back from men for a variety of reasons. And we have listed 5 of them here.

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1) We can tell when you’re doing something because you saw it in a porno.

Porn is not real life. And sometimes not realistic. Certain positions are just for the best camera angle. And unlike porn, real-life sex is a whole body experience not a push button combination of hot spots. Most men know this already but it won’t stop them from trying something that looks cool on the flick.

2) Endurance is overrated.

We are not saying that 1 minute is sufficient (cause it ain’t) but going hours on end doesn’t get you a medal either.

If a man considers it a point of pride that he can thrust away for an hour without coming, there’s a high chance that she is lying under him wondering how on earth she can say she’d have liked to wrap it up 40 minutes ago, but is afraid to say anything because she doesn’t want to stomp all over his accomplishments. The vagina’s ability to continue lubricating itself is limited, which can make marathon sex feel more like a duty than a joy.

3) We actually do know what will get us to orgasm.

He’s trying this and then trying that and finding nothing works to get her there? There’s a strong possibility she actually knows exactly what needs to happen, because she’s had practice “getting to know herself”, but is afraid to say so because her path to orgasm has been perceived by other men or the culture at large as emasculating. She might feel that bringing a vibrator in bed will make him feel like less than a man, or she might worry that having him go down on her for a period of time would bore him. So she won’t ask.

Men, if you suspect this might be the case, it’s well worth bringing up. But don’t do it during sex, when fear of judgment is that much higher. While you’re sitting on the couch watching tv will lower the stakes of this discussion tremendously. 

4) “Getting there” is more trouble than it’s worth.

This is only true for a minority of women. For women who have trouble orgasming, sex could be fun, but it isn’t not because of their lack of orgasm so much as their fear they’ll disappoint their partners. They find themselves avoiding sex because they don’t want to have to endure endless attempts to bring forth an orgasm that will never come, but they still like to masturbate, even if they usually can’t reach orgasm.

So men, when you’re having that talk explaining that you’re not going to freak out if she starts speaking up about her needs, be clear that you’re not going to judge her if she’s feeling like orgasms don’t have to be the star of the show every time she has sex. Many women don’t fake orgasms. But pretty much all women turn the volume up on the ones they do have, because they know you like it. This isn’t lying, but embellishment, and it would be nice if men returned the favor. Sex is no time for masculine stoicism. A little verbal appreciation in the form of moaning and groaning makes a nice two-way street.

5) Our bodies are very sensitive when aroused, so err on the gentle side.

Overall, the feeling was that more pressure can be added as needed, but the shock to the system of having someone overdo it can be a major turnoff.

Source: Good Men Project

photo via letterstoawoman