Dear Show, Is it wrong to want him?? HELP EX VS PRIOR FLING

My boyfriend broke up with me in May...it would have been three years in a few months. We had broke up due to his insecurties, and him always questioning me. If i was on the phone and he called he would ask me who i was speaking to, if i told him i would call him back he would get mad, if i missed a phone call and called him back he wouldn't answer because he would be mad, then i would get 21 questions as to why i did not pick up the phone when he called. it became too much of a hassle and HE actually broke up with me. BUT I have moved away for grad school and  We started speaking again, we talk everyday and night.  We trying to work things out but not together. I asked him what "we were" the other day and he didn't really give me a answer. I went to hang out with some friends the other night males and females and my phone was in my purse. He called a lot and i didn't notice until after I got home. He doesn't really believe in male friends and that has always been a issue with us. The BIG PROBLEM is :There is a guy I once had a fling with from my home town...we still have good conversation until this day and he recently moved to my new city...I really want him bad (sexually). A part of me feels bad another part is like HEY he is the one who broke up with me... My ex's sex is okay...he isn't spontaneous, AND I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING!! I don't feel like he caters to my needs... (graduation night i wore a red thong with a HUGE silky bow on it *Victoria Secerts holiday collection* and when i walked out feeling extra sexy, he laughed and said "where did you get that" and he didnt even want to have sex o_0..I WAS LIKE WTF ARE YOU GAY) I'm really torn.. i don't even really know what i'm asking but any advice?????