ALL GASSED UP AND NOWHERE TO BURN

A Florida man was saved from all-but-certain death earlier this week thanks to the selfishness of his fellow man -- who wouldn't lend him a lighter to start himself on fire.  

Kal Patel went to the gas station where he'd worked until recently and sprayed himself and his car with a hefty dose of unleaded -- hoping to kill himself and torch the business at the same time.

His attempt to multi-task unraveled, however, when he noticed he didn't have matches or a lighter -- but when he asked other customers to help him out, he couldn't strike a bargain with anyone.

He was arrested and faces charges of attempted arson