5 Things Wives Do To Turn Off Their Husbands (Written By A Man)

1. Seeing her shave her armpits - Guys know women shave or wax their legs. But some are clueless that women actually grow hair in ... gasp ... other places, like under their armpits. So in that vein, watching your wife shave her armpits isn't the sexiest thing in the world. Granted, seeing your wife never shave her armpits is quite a bit worse.

2. Peeing in front of him - While we're on the subject, why is it that when guys are in the bathroom shaving, that's always the exact moment their wives come barging in, announce they have to pee, and then do exactly that? Of course if you're into that sort of thing, it's a whole different ballgame ...

3. Endlessly long stories - Yes, women naturally like to talk a lot more than men. And husbands should definitely listen to their wives' stories. But do they have to be soooo long? And full of soooo many tangential details? Trust me, I really don't need to know the exact brand and model number of the brush your best friend's hairdresser recommended for the dog.

4. Talking during a movie - Speaking of talking ... don't. At least not while we're watching a movie. No, I don't know who that guy is. I'm not sure why he killed his brother. I don't know where the treasure is. I don't know what they said because you were talking, so I missed what they were saying. And now I missed what that woman was saying because I was explaining to you why I missed the previous conversation. For the love of Spielberg, please hold all questions until the final credits roll.

5. Farting in bed - You know how women squeak one out under the covers hoping we guys won't notice? Sorry, honey, but the second we pull back those covers, our noses are going to win out over our other little friend. Granted guys can be just as big a buzzkill, except we all know women have a much higher tolerance for pain.